I've been in a rut the last week or so. I've finally got Chloe on a schedule and you'd think that would make more time for me to get things done and be productive right? Nope. I've been lazier than ever. I've still made meals and done baby things, but my house is a disaster. There are baskets of unfolded clean laundry in our room, the stove is dirty, the stairs and floor need vacuumed, etc. But I just don't have the energy to do it. I want to nap about as much as ever and just relax. I feel like we've been go go go all the time and now that I actually know what is happening I just want to sit back and breathe. I need to get myself together. Hopefully I'll gain some motivation this week.
Some days I feel guilty. There are days when I think about how nice it would be to have one day, or even a half day, with no responsibility. Where I could just lay in bed and sleep uninterrupted, go where I want, and have a very large cocktail. I love my girl more than anything in the world, but I'm feeling worn down.
On a happier note, check out my friend Carson's blog at, http://eatingaroundtheglobe.blogspot.com/. For the rest of the year he's going to make a few meals several times a week each from a different country around the world. I'm really excited to see what he makes and try some of the recipes!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Pulling my hair out ... if I had any!
One thing nobody told me was going to happen after giving birth was that my hair was going to fall out. Now I have super thick hair to begin with. It's ridiculous. Every stylist I've ever gone to has made comments on it. When I got pregnant it grew quite a bit in length and got even more thick! I hated how thick it was. If I didn't style it I would have an afro. About three months after having Chloe I began losing major handfuls of hair. It's disgusting. It gets everywhere. I have no clue how I'm not bald. I'm scared that I am going to go bald. Hopefully this stops soon.
This week has been stressful. If I had hair I could part with, I would have probably pulled it out by now. The Zantac isn't really doing much. She's sleeping a tiny bit better, but it's not fantastic and we've got a long way to go. During the days she's been fussy and unhappy. It breaks my heart. I just want her to feel comfortable and happy. So far (hopefully I don't jinx it) today has been pretty good. She's been a bit fussy but I've been trying to keep her busy. Unfortunately it's just too darn cold outside to really go anywhere, but there's lots to play with here at least.
Time for me to have something to eat before she wakes up! Here's day 2 & 3 of my Chloe 365 project!
This week has been stressful. If I had hair I could part with, I would have probably pulled it out by now. The Zantac isn't really doing much. She's sleeping a tiny bit better, but it's not fantastic and we've got a long way to go. During the days she's been fussy and unhappy. It breaks my heart. I just want her to feel comfortable and happy. So far (hopefully I don't jinx it) today has been pretty good. She's been a bit fussy but I've been trying to keep her busy. Unfortunately it's just too darn cold outside to really go anywhere, but there's lots to play with here at least.
Time for me to have something to eat before she wakes up! Here's day 2 & 3 of my Chloe 365 project!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
"That" Patient
I'm starting to think I may be becoming "that" patient at the doctors office. You know, the one that calls whenever she thinks something is up? That is always worried about her baby. Maybe it's being a FTM, I'm not sure.
For the last almost three months I feel like I've been taking Chloe to the doctor constantly because something is wrong with her. First they told me she was colicky. I thought that was not true. I've been around colicky babies, and I've read a ton about them, and really she wasn't acting colicky. It all started just before Thanksgiving when we moved Chloe from the newborn napper portion of her pack n' play to laying in the regular bassinet. She stopped sleeping through the night at that point and we chalked it up to her just being in a new sleeping position. Then she started waking even more. Everybody said it was the four month growth spurt. Then wonder weeks, then they said colic again. She was waking up in pain and I knew it, but the doctors kept acting like I was crazy.
Finally we went back again last week. They diagnosed her with GERD but did not want to try medication right away. So we tried having her sleep on an incline. That didn't go so well. She didn't really sleep very well. She does not like to sleep in a swing or in her bouncer so we inclined her crib. The doctor decided yesterday that we will try her on Zantac and see how that goes. Last night I didn't notice a difference, but so far tonight she's been asleep for almost three hours! I really hope this helps. I hate to watch her suffer and wake up screaming in pain.
Playgroup this week wasn't too exciting. There were only four babies including Chloe and she was showing off her magnificent shriek. It's the worst sound ever. It made the other babies cry. There was a new baby in the group, an adorable eight month old little boy. His poor mama looked exhausted and stressed, I wanted to give her a hug. I totally know how she feels.
I started a facebook photo album where I'm going to post a picture of Chloe every day for 365 days. I'm really hoping I can do this. I think I'll also post the pictures here, there won't always be a post but at least I can share her cuteness!
Here's day one. Blowing bubbles while sitting on daddy's lap!
Oh and Wednesday Winter blog hop!
For the last almost three months I feel like I've been taking Chloe to the doctor constantly because something is wrong with her. First they told me she was colicky. I thought that was not true. I've been around colicky babies, and I've read a ton about them, and really she wasn't acting colicky. It all started just before Thanksgiving when we moved Chloe from the newborn napper portion of her pack n' play to laying in the regular bassinet. She stopped sleeping through the night at that point and we chalked it up to her just being in a new sleeping position. Then she started waking even more. Everybody said it was the four month growth spurt. Then wonder weeks, then they said colic again. She was waking up in pain and I knew it, but the doctors kept acting like I was crazy.
Finally we went back again last week. They diagnosed her with GERD but did not want to try medication right away. So we tried having her sleep on an incline. That didn't go so well. She didn't really sleep very well. She does not like to sleep in a swing or in her bouncer so we inclined her crib. The doctor decided yesterday that we will try her on Zantac and see how that goes. Last night I didn't notice a difference, but so far tonight she's been asleep for almost three hours! I really hope this helps. I hate to watch her suffer and wake up screaming in pain.
Playgroup this week wasn't too exciting. There were only four babies including Chloe and she was showing off her magnificent shriek. It's the worst sound ever. It made the other babies cry. There was a new baby in the group, an adorable eight month old little boy. His poor mama looked exhausted and stressed, I wanted to give her a hug. I totally know how she feels.
I started a facebook photo album where I'm going to post a picture of Chloe every day for 365 days. I'm really hoping I can do this. I think I'll also post the pictures here, there won't always be a post but at least I can share her cuteness!
Here's day one. Blowing bubbles while sitting on daddy's lap!
Oh and Wednesday Winter blog hop!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Cry Baby
This weeks hot topic of debate was that of CIO (or cry-it-out for those not up on the modern mom abbreviations). Seriously these debates never end on the Baby Center forums. Usually I stay out of them, I did comment once or twice this week and kind of wish now that I hadn't, but it's too late.
Here's my take on the whole CIO controversy. Cry it out will not work on MY baby, therefore in my opinion doing it to her would be cruel and heartless. Chloe is fairly easy going. She only cries if she needs something. We have gone days without a major crying episode. She'll fuss when she wants it, and if I'm not fast enough the cry will come. The only time she'll go straight to the cry is if she's not feeling well. At night time she goes to bed drowsy, babbles in her crib and goes to sleep. She wakes to nurse or when her GERD is acting up then goes back to sleep.
I generally do not have a problem with others using CIO. For one, it's not really my business. If a mother needs it for her sanity, and the baby responds well to it, and she can listen to her baby scream for an hour before going to sleep (I would be clawing at the walls to get into the baby's room) and it works for that family, then CIO is probably for you. But if you're posting online about how you feel like the world's worst mother and you're going crazy listening to your baby scream for you, then damnit go pick up your baby and pick a different way of getting that baby to sleep! I don't think moms that use CIO are bad moms, it's just not a method I would use on my child.
But part of joining this cult of motherhood is that you meet all kinds. Another kind of parenting choice I wouldn't make came up at our infant playgroup on Tuesday. There were lots of babies there and Chloe had fun. It was great meeting other moms in the area and seeing the babies at all different ages. There was one mom there with an 11 month old. This baby was WIRED. Like bouncing off the walls and pretty much out of control. She said he was just fiesty and strong willed. She feeds him chocolate on a regular basis. He also eats McDonalds on a regular basis including having a little soda. Remember I said 11 months old not 11 years old? Everyone kind of just did the polite smile and nod and moved on to a different topic of conversation. I couldn't get it out of my head though. How much research and awareness do you need to realize what you shouldn't be feeding your kid? We're in Michigan, one of the fattest states, every third commercial is about obesity and getting help, and you're feeding your 11 month old chocolate and McDonalds? Get the #*$! out. /End Rant.
I'm not going to be the perfect mother. I don't mean to come off sounding like I'm the perfect mother. I'm sure I will do things with Chloe that will have some people going "WTF?". I just needed to get it out there that picturing this child scarfing down a happy meal at 11 months is haunting me a bit. I think one benefit of being with a group of moms in person rather than online is that you can generally expect the smile and nod as a response and you won't be attacked. If someone on the August 2010 birth boards posts in July of this year that they give their kid chocolate and cheeseburgers I'm going to need a boatload of popcorn and butter.
Here's my take on the whole CIO controversy. Cry it out will not work on MY baby, therefore in my opinion doing it to her would be cruel and heartless. Chloe is fairly easy going. She only cries if she needs something. We have gone days without a major crying episode. She'll fuss when she wants it, and if I'm not fast enough the cry will come. The only time she'll go straight to the cry is if she's not feeling well. At night time she goes to bed drowsy, babbles in her crib and goes to sleep. She wakes to nurse or when her GERD is acting up then goes back to sleep.
I generally do not have a problem with others using CIO. For one, it's not really my business. If a mother needs it for her sanity, and the baby responds well to it, and she can listen to her baby scream for an hour before going to sleep (I would be clawing at the walls to get into the baby's room) and it works for that family, then CIO is probably for you. But if you're posting online about how you feel like the world's worst mother and you're going crazy listening to your baby scream for you, then damnit go pick up your baby and pick a different way of getting that baby to sleep! I don't think moms that use CIO are bad moms, it's just not a method I would use on my child.
But part of joining this cult of motherhood is that you meet all kinds. Another kind of parenting choice I wouldn't make came up at our infant playgroup on Tuesday. There were lots of babies there and Chloe had fun. It was great meeting other moms in the area and seeing the babies at all different ages. There was one mom there with an 11 month old. This baby was WIRED. Like bouncing off the walls and pretty much out of control. She said he was just fiesty and strong willed. She feeds him chocolate on a regular basis. He also eats McDonalds on a regular basis including having a little soda. Remember I said 11 months old not 11 years old? Everyone kind of just did the polite smile and nod and moved on to a different topic of conversation. I couldn't get it out of my head though. How much research and awareness do you need to realize what you shouldn't be feeding your kid? We're in Michigan, one of the fattest states, every third commercial is about obesity and getting help, and you're feeding your 11 month old chocolate and McDonalds? Get the #*$! out. /End Rant.
I'm not going to be the perfect mother. I don't mean to come off sounding like I'm the perfect mother. I'm sure I will do things with Chloe that will have some people going "WTF?". I just needed to get it out there that picturing this child scarfing down a happy meal at 11 months is haunting me a bit. I think one benefit of being with a group of moms in person rather than online is that you can generally expect the smile and nod as a response and you won't be attacked. If someone on the August 2010 birth boards posts in July of this year that they give their kid chocolate and cheeseburgers I'm going to need a boatload of popcorn and butter.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Lazy Saturday
It's been a busy week! My little sister came to visit for the week and spend some time with Chloe. It's hard having family so far away, but it makes the visits more special. Chloe had a big of a cold bug this week, but although she wasn't feeling 100% she was happy for the most part.
Having Auntie in town was helpful, as John and I got to go on our first date night since Chloe was born. It was fun to go out for dinner and have some time to ourselves. We went to Upfront & Co. because I love their black & blue salmon dish. Yummy salmon cooked in cajun spices with a blue cheese sauce topping. Delish! Surprisingly we didn't talk about Chloe too much, we were joking on the way there that all we were going to talk about was here.
How can you resist:
Megan left yesterday to head home and today Chloe and I are having a lazy day. I'm sick of dishes and cleaning. Time to just relax with my girl. She's growing so fast and I don't want to miss a moment with her. I dressed her in some of her six month clothes on Thursday. I know some babies her age have been in those for a long time, but she's a teeny one. They're still a little bit big, but no too bad. It's hard to believe that she's been here for almost five months already!
Having Auntie in town was helpful, as John and I got to go on our first date night since Chloe was born. It was fun to go out for dinner and have some time to ourselves. We went to Upfront & Co. because I love their black & blue salmon dish. Yummy salmon cooked in cajun spices with a blue cheese sauce topping. Delish! Surprisingly we didn't talk about Chloe too much, we were joking on the way there that all we were going to talk about was here.
How can you resist:
Megan left yesterday to head home and today Chloe and I are having a lazy day. I'm sick of dishes and cleaning. Time to just relax with my girl. She's growing so fast and I don't want to miss a moment with her. I dressed her in some of her six month clothes on Thursday. I know some babies her age have been in those for a long time, but she's a teeny one. They're still a little bit big, but no too bad. It's hard to believe that she's been here for almost five months already!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010
Happy New Year! I can't believe 2010 is over with. In some ways it dragged on, but since August it's flown past and we're already starting 2011. I'm not one for new year resolutions. It's never been my thing as usually I'm dedicated for about a week and then I'm over it. But I've got a few little things in the back of my mind.
2010 was a year of love for me. Meeting my baby girl on August 10th and falling in love with her immediately was astonishing. It was a new kind of love I have never experienced before and it almost scared me a little. I had no idea that after kissing her for the first time I would be so hooked. I always knew I would love her, but that it happened so fast was pretty amazing. It still brings happy tears to my eyes sometimes when I look at her. The other night after her bath, I swaddled her up and nursed her, then we read Goodnight Moon. She was awake through the story and after the last line I put the book down, gave her a kiss on the forehead and she fell asleep. It was too perfect for words. She's precious, I'm obsessed.
I also found out there is a new kind of love for your husband when you have a baby. I of course knew I loved the man, after all I married him! But seeing him as a father moved me. Watching him be so gentle and careful with Chloe when she was a newborn, worrying about the things I worried about (and some that I didn't - which made it even more sweet), having his little moments of her. I love when he would fall asleep on the couch with her. I would sit there staring at them incase someone moved and I needed to catch a baby, but it was adorable. She'll snuggled right up on his chest and just pass right out, I can't blame her, I do the same thing when I can! There's something special about that moment you have with your spouse after you've put the baby to bed, and you walk into the hallway and look at each other. A sense of relief and accomplishment that another day has ended on a good note, and that spark of love you feel for that person for their commitment, hard work and love for you and your family.
I'm so excited to see what 2011 has in store for us. I'm sure we'll be thrown our challenges and have to clear some obstacles, but we'll make it through and come out stronger. We've done it all these other years. Watching Chloe grow this year is going to be unbelievable. To think that she'll be one in eight months! She grows and changes everyday. Sometimes I just want her to stay small, but that would be boring. It's way to exciting knowing that each day we'll learn something new and keep building memories. If you had asked me at the beginning of 2010 if I thought the year would end with me feeling this way I would've said no way, but it has and it's perfect. I'm so blessed for the amazing people I have around me to make me finally feel content and happy in the skin I'm in.
2010 was a year of love for me. Meeting my baby girl on August 10th and falling in love with her immediately was astonishing. It was a new kind of love I have never experienced before and it almost scared me a little. I had no idea that after kissing her for the first time I would be so hooked. I always knew I would love her, but that it happened so fast was pretty amazing. It still brings happy tears to my eyes sometimes when I look at her. The other night after her bath, I swaddled her up and nursed her, then we read Goodnight Moon. She was awake through the story and after the last line I put the book down, gave her a kiss on the forehead and she fell asleep. It was too perfect for words. She's precious, I'm obsessed.
I also found out there is a new kind of love for your husband when you have a baby. I of course knew I loved the man, after all I married him! But seeing him as a father moved me. Watching him be so gentle and careful with Chloe when she was a newborn, worrying about the things I worried about (and some that I didn't - which made it even more sweet), having his little moments of her. I love when he would fall asleep on the couch with her. I would sit there staring at them incase someone moved and I needed to catch a baby, but it was adorable. She'll snuggled right up on his chest and just pass right out, I can't blame her, I do the same thing when I can! There's something special about that moment you have with your spouse after you've put the baby to bed, and you walk into the hallway and look at each other. A sense of relief and accomplishment that another day has ended on a good note, and that spark of love you feel for that person for their commitment, hard work and love for you and your family.
I'm so excited to see what 2011 has in store for us. I'm sure we'll be thrown our challenges and have to clear some obstacles, but we'll make it through and come out stronger. We've done it all these other years. Watching Chloe grow this year is going to be unbelievable. To think that she'll be one in eight months! She grows and changes everyday. Sometimes I just want her to stay small, but that would be boring. It's way to exciting knowing that each day we'll learn something new and keep building memories. If you had asked me at the beginning of 2010 if I thought the year would end with me feeling this way I would've said no way, but it has and it's perfect. I'm so blessed for the amazing people I have around me to make me finally feel content and happy in the skin I'm in.
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