A year ago today I married my best friend. I can't believe how different things are in just one year. Last year at this time Chloe was 23 weeks and we were getting ready to find out that she was indeed a she. We had our quiet wedding just like we wanted, but honestly we talked more about our baby plans.
Chloe is eight months old now. She's thinking about crawling (the back end works, front end not so much), she's finally sitting well, and she's still sleeping terribly. I have no idea what to do there. I've become somewhat of a zombie. I keep hoping there's an end in sight.
Today we went to the Great Cloth Diaper Change event. It was an interesting experience (my organized control freak side was having a slight panic attack) but was fun. John took some pictures of Chloe and I and when I looked at them I wanted to cry. My weight is getting way out of control.
I'm so lost as to where to start. I've always been either thin or fat. Never really in-between. When I was thin it was not because I was healthy. I was starving myself and purging what I did eat. I do not want to restrict my diet much now because I don't want it to kill my milk supply. But I do need to make better choices. Breastfeeding makes me so hungry! And it makes me want sweets, which I never wanted before. I need to eat more veggies and less processed food. I need to make it my new obsession, but I'm almost scared to because of where I've been before. I could drop 50 pounds in two months if I wanted to, but that wouldn't be good for me or Chloe.
The weight thing is getting me down though. I weigh more now than I did before I got pregnant. Nothing fits. I'll be honest, sometimes I still wear maternity jeans (insert yucky face here). I don't want Chloe to grow up with me being so overweight. I want her to see me as healthy and active.
Time to devise a plan!
And here's a recent pic of my love. She's growing up way too fast.
Thats so cool you went to the cloth diaper change- I wished I would have participated. Loosing weight while breastfeeding is HARD- I'm able to loose .5 lbs a week and I still notice it impacting my pumping supply, but you can totally do it- there's nothing more motivating then our little ones! :)
ReplyDeleteBTW: your photos are beautiful- do you do any editing to them?
I had no idea that Chloe is blonde. How did I miss that? Maybe she's just starting to grow enough hair to see? She's adorable as ever.
ReplyDeleteHoping you had a lovely anniversary. It's wonderful to realize that a year has only made things better!
As for the weight, here's my admittedly lame-but-it-worked-but-I-mostly-don't-do-it suggestion: When you're craving something sweet, eat a banana, wait half an hour and then decide if you still want/need something else. I'll tell you, I was kind of annoyed when it did work, because it meant I wasn't going to have whatever gooey goodness... er... badness was hanging out at my office.
M- I just do some light editing. Correcting exposure and reducing noise and the main things I do. I try and leave things as straight out of the camera as I can.
ReplyDeleteShan- That's a great idea! I might have to try that.
Your photo of Chloe is BEAUTIFUL! Wow, I really need to learn to take better pix. I am inspired! She is absolutely stunning.
ReplyDeleteI'm dealing with weight issues too. It seemed easy to eat whatever I wanted when I first started breastfeeding, but that's not the case anymore. There is a Weight Watchers at Work group in my building now, and I'm going to check into that today. I'm like you - I want to be healthy and be a good role model for London.
Thanks again for sharing your story. It is helpful to find someone with such similar challenges.
ohh she is just such a beautiful girl! I can have problems with my weight too, it fluctuates so easily. I always remember that if I eat something naughty then I must exercise that day, whether its at the gym or going for a run or even just doing situps (:
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